My mobile phone rings. I hear Felicity’s voice, the clerical assistant that has been recently hired at the office. She says that she needs the document that I have been preparing for the Unit Coordinator. I am still at home; getting dressed, so I finish up, grab my laptop computer, and rush out of the door.
I get to the office unusually early; no one is there but Felicity. I enter the office, place my computer on top of the large printer/photocopier, and try to send the document to it via WiFi to be printed. In the background I hear the jangle of a bunch of keys.
Felicity is an eccentric young woman, known to sit quietly with her head nestled in her own bosom, sleeping intermittently throughout the day. During these bouts of sleep, it is reported that she frequently shivers, then settles herself; much like a hen rustles its feathers while nested. Her makeup is always overdone, with lipstick applied to regions of the face it was not meant to tread.
Felicity has, on more than one occasion, expressed her opinion, loudly to other staff members, on how wonderful, pleasant, and courteous a man as I go about my daily business. This makes me very uncomfortable.
This morning, as I hear her take the bunch of keys from the drawer, I peer over my shoulder. Felicity is, one by one, trying each key in the lock on the office door. I dismiss her actions as harmless. After all, she is a new employee, and is, most likely, just finding out which key opens what door.
Returning to my business of printing the document, I feel the sensation of something slipping around my waist on each side. No, not slipping; this is more akin to crawling. I look down to see Felicity’s hands reaching around to embrace me from behind.
I spin around and push her backward in a not too gentle fashion, asking her what she is up to. She replies that she simply needed to get to the other side of the room which required her to come into contact with me. I scan the room; there is ample space for two to conduct their business sans physical contact.
Leaving my computer behind, I burst out of the office leaping down the stairs three at a time. Considering my history of being threatened at another place of employment by the spouse of a coworker who had taken a liking to me, I make a report of the incident to the Administrative Assistant who can barely contain her amusement as I confide my ordeal.
By the time I leave the office, word has spread to the other female employees who are having quite a laugh at my expense.
Felicity is made to apologize to me, which she does. Later, I enter the office again to collect my forgotten laptop computer. In the midst of the other women, Felicity again apologizes. I implore her not to make anymore of it than it already is.
As I leave the room, I hear her telling the other women how nice, pleasant, and courteous a man I am.